friendship

setelah beberapa blog berisi tentang kelebaian soal bagus handoko aka jelek... hehe (duh ak nyebut nama terang2an nii...) i wanna write about... hm... about my bestfriends.. :)

i dont have a lot of bestfriend. but it's enough to me to have them. and i love them soooooooooooo... much... hehe...

i dont really know bout the real definition about friendship. and i dont know too the reason why i have my bestfriends now. something that i know is : i love them so much more than they know.

maybe some people that know say that i'm easy to make a bestfriends. so if people little bit closer to me and say that i'm her or his bestfriend, so do i... :)

fyi, i'm so eeeeaaassyyy to get closer with someone :) i dont know that's good or not. for me, just let it flow sajalaaahh :p

well, i think have a lot of bestfriends is better than none. isn't true??

and i know everything in this world, have their own timing. remember seleksi alam, rite? so, i dont even really care (emm... i mean i try not to so hurt if it happens to me) if i lost my bestfriend. i mean, it seleksi alam, rite?
and i wont to be hypocrite. i have so many ex bestfriends. is it my false? i think not. i'm sure that is seleksi alam. :)

i dont want judge someone that won't have a bestfriend because they dont believe what bestfriend is. but for me, bestfriend is veeeeerrrryyyy important.

why, because altough they're people who is not always seen, but i feel that they there for me, whatever my condition. they help me to grown up. i've written that i dont know (and dont care) bout the definition of bestfriend. but i know that they're everything. i love them and i really really can give my soul wholeheartedly if they ask.. (too much language i mean.. xixixi...)

so, here they are... bestfriend who i love sooooooooooooo muccchh...

aulia yusri riezkiani artika, my great sister and my great great great bestfriend... i really love her.. she's sibling and bestfriend for me... :)

my sister that i found her in river (haha, kidding. of course not in real river. but live's river... :p ) maretha ayu saraswati. bestfriend that always try to understand me well...

agmarina laila nurullitasari... bestfriend who never make me angry and can make me calm...and always understand me well if i'm in red o metter mood :)

sherly ayu wardhani, my lil sister who always try to make me laugh... and try to give me a wise advice... whose mood is unpredictable.. :p

anita setia winartati, my bestfriend who never tired to give me spirit... hoooo... :) and always always always make me reminding me if i still have some place to go if this world seems angry to me. i appreciate our relationship so much...

noor sri inayati, our short meeting make a deep hole in my heart. hole of friendship, of course.. :) bestfriend who always said honest to me.. and someone that i can trust..:)

sherly luthfiana and citta arunika risyudanti, my bestfriends since elementary school... we're keeping this relationship till know with hard spirit, aren't we?? :)

revanda pramudia and hendrik megantara prayogi, both of them is my one ( or two? hehe) and only brothers that i have... :) altough you two always make me sport jantung, panic, or angry, i really care of you two and i love you two sooo mucchh.. :) xoxo to you two brothers... :)

intan alinne kusuma. we don't even in a close place. we're not always meet but i know that intan love me as i love her. whenever i need her, she always there for me and never tired to listen me.. :)

bestfriend that never believe what bestfriend is, but i suppose her my bestfriend... amanda aini choirunnissa...
we always fight and fight. and it takes a long time to us to break down (i think six month is the fastest time to us to break down.. :p ). but when we're breakdown, we always find each other... and get closer than before. sound weirdo, didn't it?? :p

susanti handayani... whose really care with me even not show it... not always there but i know she's always beside me.. :p

my grand daughter... aisyah surya bintang... who always cheer me up and make me laugh with this 'wise' statement. she's the one who always in my mind if i'm in boredom... :p she never never never refuse to accompany my crazy mood o meter. you know what, chubbin, i love you as i always do.. :)

anesia anggun kinanti... chairmate who always give me advice with her sharp mouth... and wake me up if i'm in a deep down dream...

nindya prillianti who always make me laugh with her jokes...

and there are my lovely rockaa bestfriends who always make me in green o mood metter :p

my silver's family : ervyna putri witriana, dhanisworo, sekar cahyo laksanti, velina, prasetyo pristanto, hanafi bustamam... i don't know what is fun without you guys... :)

my mummies and dad : santi dwi handayani, gita wahyu aryani, danny aland prasetya... heeyy mummies and dad... you know that i love you so much?? :P

my girls : winda ratu seprilia, dian ayu pamungkas, selvy rizki aprilianti, meta oktaviani, ummi fadhillah... you go, girl... you dont know how i really appreciate you so much... and yes, i do love you guys... :)

and then my communities' friends who i love them so much :)

liaaaass : miss esty puji, nastiti sari laksmi, daru rahmawati, dinda ajeng anindita, bagus handoko (is it true i write his name? hehe..) faisal, luna oktariani, widyastuti kusumawardhani, anissa hedlina hendraputri... you rock!! hehe... if you even dont care bout this, just see : i realllllllyyy lllloovvveee yyooouuu ssssoooo mmmuuccchhh... is it enough?? :P

teather : anamika labita (doughty doughty doughty,,, muah,) lusy puspitasari, nisa, noniusar thesa omar (my great coach), rista omega, muhammad kamal, bogy hanni.... you make me love this world if you realize it... love you more than you know..


for people who i write this name above... i really say thank you so much for being my friends and my bestfriends...

without you, hana is nothing... :)

so do for my ex bestfriends... i did love you and you made me learn live lesson. i promise i never forget you.. :) and i really try to forgive you... :)

Buat kamu lagi, jelekku

demi tuhan aku tak pernah tahu bahwa merindukanmu bakal menyesakkan seperti ini. bilang saya berlebihan. memang keadaannya sperti ini.

kamu tahu rasanya? sakit. perih. sesak. lalu aku harus bagaimana? tidak ada yang mudah diantara kita, jelek. aku telah mencobanya dan aku lelah. katakan jika saya pengecut. memang begni adanya, jelek. you never... never... never... appreciate me enough... you even dont care about my feeling. mau main salah2an? ga ada yg salah, jelek. hak aku buat sayang dan hak kamu buat nolak. but do you even understand that?? i think not

sudah hampir setahun dan aku masih saja merindukanmu.
memang aku yang tak bisa bangkit
memang aku yang masih menoleh dan aku akui itu kesalahanku.

tapi bolehkah aku bermimpi?? sekali saja...
aku ingin bermimpi rasa ini kau miliki juga. aku tak butuh kita bersama, yang aku butuhkan hanya kamu. tau??

aku juga ingin bermimpi... sedikit saja... kau memahami kesesakanku...
dan dengan tersenyum kau berkata,"tak apa... kita tetap berteman, setidaknya..."

tapi mimpi hanya mimpi... hanya fantasi... dan mimpi dan fantasi itu tak akan menjadi nyata...

aku jadi terbayang dulu. ketika kita masih saling bertegur sapa. tertawa, bercanda, dan berbicara pun masih dianggap biasa. tapi nyatanya sekarang... menegurmu pun aku tak mampu dan aku tak mau...

aku malu, jelek.
karena diriku yang kupikir kuat ternyata masih sangat rapuh dan rentan dengan penolakan. ingin rasanya kembali ke masa yang dulu... saat kita masih tak ada beban rasa... aku dengan rasa sesakku dan kamu atas rasa kasihanmu padaku... :)

i miss that moment...
bilang saya lebay! memang begini, kok.. :p

aku jadi teringat kata-katamu ketika kau mengabarkan kepergianmu,"sini... mau peluk?!"
meski kau ucapkan itu sambil bercanda tapi percayalah, aku menangis karena itu...

i miss you so much, jelekku... :)